.Editor's Keep in mind: The adhering to is the message of a character from Exploration 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reviewing the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not written significantly concerning specifics of this purpose in the course of the month I've been listed here, generally for pair of reasons: the very first being that there has been actually really little bit of opportunity to carry out that kind of composing, as well as second of all due to the fact that I'm not exactly sure how comfy I am discussing thought and feelings I share with friends and family with the remainder of the globe.Properly, certainly the world modified today. What I mention or even do is quite small matched up to the significance of what occurred to our country today when it was actually assaulted through ... through whom? Terrorists is all we know, I presume. Hard to understand at whom to point our rage and worry ...I had actually merely finished an amount of tasks this morning, one of the most time-consuming being actually the physical examinations of all crew members. In an exclusive chat adhering to that, the air travel doctor informed me they were actually having a very negative time on the ground. I possessed no concept ...He explained the scenario to me as best he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was overwhelmed, then frightened. My very first thought was actually that this had not been an actual talk, that I was actually still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It only didn't seem to be possible on this scale in our nation. I couldn't even envision the particulars, even before the headlines of additional destruction began being available in.Vladimir came by fairly quickly, sensing that one thing incredibly severe was being reviewed. I swung Michael in to the component too. They were likewise impressed and also stunned. After our experts signed off, I tried to explain to Vladimir and Michael as greatest I can the possible size of the act of terror in midtown New york and at the Pentagon. They clearly recognized and also were very compassionate.I browsed the Globe Chart on the pc to see where over the globe our company were actually as well as noticed that we were actually coming southeast out of Canada and would be passing over New England in a few mins. I zoomed around the terminal till I discovered a window that will give me a sight of NYC as well as ordered the nearest video camera. It occurred to be a video camera, and also I was looking southern coming from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to be to have an odd flower to it at the foundation of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After reviewing among the news articles our company simply received, I feel we were actually checking out NY around the time of, or even soon after, the crash of the 2nd tower. Just how unpleasant ...I panned the electronic camera the whole time the East Coast to the south to view if I can observe any other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, however nothing was visible.It was quite complicated to think about job afterwards, though we had some to perform, but on the upcoming track our company traversed the United States more southern. All 3 people were functioning a couple of electronic cameras to attempt to get scenery of New york city or Washington. There was haze over Washington, however no certain source may be found. It all looked extraordinary from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can't picture the awful settings on the ground.Other than the psychological effect of our nation being attacked and also hundreds of our people and also maybe some buddies being actually gotten rid of, the absolute most frustrating sensation being where I am actually is one of solitude.Next time ... I suspect the fatigue and emotional pressure got the very best of me. I could not keep awake and remain to create. Today was still hard, however our company began acquiring additional info, plus our company had the respect of talking directly with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, that guaranteed us that the ground groups would certainly continue to function and also guarantee our safety and security, and also the safe operation of the Station. We additionally talked to our Manager, Mr. Goldin, who included that the companions in the Program are actually all completely devoted to proceeding secure operations as well as help. These were actually never questions for me. I know all these folks! The ground teams have actually been incredibly encouraging, incredibly understanding of the impact of the updates, and also have tried to be as helpful as achievable. They have all been actually really specialist and also concentrated though I can not envision the interruption of this form of information coming in and the idea that authorities structures could be in jeopardy. They never ever bypassed a beat, even when transferring control centers. As well as a group of elderly staffs as well as good friends provided us a quite thorough instruction about what was actually known and also what was being actually done in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually quite practical and sort of all of them to perform in the midst of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has actually also been actually supportive and also valuable, making an effort to uplink news articles when our own possessions were actually unusable, and also mentioning kind words ...My crewmates have been actually great, as well. They recognize it's been a challenging time for me and the folks on the ground, as well as they have actually attempted to be as also keeled and also valuable as feasible. Michael even repaired me my favored Borscht soup for supper. And they give me lots of room to presume when I needed it. They are actually incredibly compassionate and also of course outraged at whoever would do this.I understand so many people in Washington, plenty of folks that take a trip to DC as well as New York City, numerous that are actually pilots, that I really felt certain I will receive a minimum of a couple of parts of trouble over the upcoming few times. I got the first one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines jet that struck the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I encountered Chic during plebe summer when our company were in the D&B with each other, as well as our team had great deals of classes together. I can not visualize what he needs to of experienced, and currently I listen to that he may have increased better than we can easily even think about by probably preventing his plane coming from being actually the one to deal with the White House. What a horrible loss, but I ensure Chic was actually dealing with bravely to the end. As well as tears do not flow the very same in space ...It's complicated to define just how it really feels to become the only American completely off the earth at a time like this. The emotion that I should be there along with all of you, coping with this, helping in some way, is mind-boggling. I recognize that our company are on the limit (or past) of a horrendous switch in the record of the world. Many factors are going to never ever coincide again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not merely for the thousands as well as thousands of people straight affected by these hideous actions of terrorism, however probably for everybody. Our company are going to locate ourselves experiencing differently regarding dozens of factors, including probably space expedition, unfortunately.It's unpleasant to view smoke cigarettes putting coming from cuts in your very own nation from such a wonderful angle. The duality of being on a space capsule dedicated to enhancing life on the earth as well as watching life being actually destroyed through such premeditated, terrible actions is jolting to the psyche, regardless of that you are actually. As well as the knowledge that whatever are going to be different than when our team introduced due to the time we land is a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country as well as in our leadership that our experts are going to carry out every thing achievable to much better shield her and our family members, and also to bring compensation for what has been actually done. I possess confidence that the excellent folks at NASA will carry out whatever needed to proceed our purpose safely and return our team carefully at the right time. As well as I overlook each one of you very much. I can not exist along with you personally, as well as we have a long way to go to accomplish our mission, however be specific that my soul is actually with you, as well as understand you reside in my petitions.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final character ... Fortunately, it's been an active week up right here. And also to prove that, like our nation, our company are continuing our designated pathway with company as usual (as high as feasible). Tonight the most recent addition to the station, the Russian Docking Area will certainly be actually released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US time), it will definitely dock along with our team, at a slot certainly never made use of prior to on the low point side of the Service Element. This brand-new module will definitely offer our company another spot to dock a Progress or Soyuz and also will provide a large airlock along with two able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which we will perform a few of before our team get home.The complication just before in managing this week was insufficient updates. The problem now is way too much. It came at one time when email was actually recovered, and there's not enough time to read it all! Plus it's too hard to take care of all of it at the same time. However I cherish acquiring it, and I definitely cherish the wonderful characters of help and friendship I am receiving.Our experts are actually flourishing aboard, receiving our job done, and talking about points. Final night our company had a lengthy discussion over dinner about the value of these activities, the possible actions to follow, and what must be done. After dinner, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he acquired from good friends in Russia said primarily to tell me just how sorry they were actually that this happened, stretching their acknowledgements, and talking to just how I was actually performing. Vladimir educated me the Russian phrase for "condolences" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Superstar Urban area. (Both the Russian and also the English words are actually a lot very long to articulate effortlessly.) Quite kind folks.For the final 2 times, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to send live shows of broadcast information concerning the celebration as well as affiliated tales, to make sure I was well educated. Every specialist who has actually begun free throw line to go over a procedure or even a concern contends some aspect extended hellos to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told our company that as a result of the big day of recognition in the United States, throughout the day people had actually been actually delivering flowers and also lining all the walls of the United States consulate in Moscow, and this night they were actually lighting candlesticks in the road outside the consulate. How the globe has actually changed.People almost everywhere seem to be to realize the senselessness and horror within this assault. And also the enormous reduction. Moscow has actually coped with these type of troubles in the last handful of years with apartment and train battles, so they are actually as distressed to remove this threat as our team are. Yet all-time low line is that there are actually excellent folks just about everywhere that intend to reside in peace. I review that a kid inquired, "United States is thus excellent to other countries, our company consistently assist everyone, how can they dislike us a great deal?".I hope the instance of participation as well as trust that this spacecraft plus all individuals in the system illustrate daily will one day influence the remainder of the world to work similarly. They must!Sadly, our company will not be actually flying over the United States during the time individuals are actually igniting candlesticks. Don't recognize if we could view that in any case. We performed, nonetheless, view a very unique as well as beautiful sight a couple of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. We were overtaking it and it appeared about three moments after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sun reached our terminal, so it was still unaware. It looked like a big comet with a right, vast tail silhouetted against the darker planet beneath. Even with some negative lighting fixtures for a while as the sunshine hit our home window at a reduced angle, I handled some video of it as initially our team passed the rocket, and afterwards enjoyed it start to catch up as it got altitude and velocity. I filmed until major motor deadline and enhancer separation took place equally our experts moved toward dawn on the Mountain ranges. An unforgettable sight in an extraordinary week ...Life happens, also precede. Our team're below to keep ... Frank.